A Little Fun At a Jerk Buyer's Expense

Most buyers I deal with are spectacular. They're glad to get a qualified tech at a reasonable price, and I'm glad to get good work at a reasonable price. It usually works out where I don't get quite as much as I want; they don't pay as little as they want.

Every once in awhile, though, a jerk hops up on the scene. For obvious reasons, I need to keep the buyer anonymous, but I thought I'd post the response I WANTED to post. If I didn't need to maintain a decent relationship with them.

Here is the buyer's response to my offer:

The project is about as simple as it can get. Unbox new equipment and set it up on the desktop, plug in the Cat5 cable to the nic card and that is it. XYZ Company will do all of the work behind the scenes with regards to loading the OS and the dual monitor drivers. Other than that, if you think that $20 is below market value for A+ type work, then you must be making a killing in your area and I wonder why you would answer an ad like this. It's simple work. It is what it is. Call me if you are interested, (number omitted).

Here is the reply I wanted to make:

I agree, it's simple work, but as to why I would answer an ad, there is a simple reason. This is not Craigslist, this is not a random Internet ad, this is a platform where buyers in my profession connect with providers in my profession. And there is a good deal of negotiating that goes on.

I do have to take issue with your characterization of A+ techs, though. Even the most newly minted A+ tech still put in significant time and effort to get where they are, and do not deserve to be diminished by buyers like you, who bask in the glow of the monitor in your mother's basement while working tickets between quests to find the Sword of Azeroth.

$20 an hour is a fair price for a self employed individual to mow my lawn, or stop by for twice weekly housekeeping. It is not a fair price for PC deployments for large companies. There is a certain professionalism expected, and it's not received by paying dirt cheap wages. For a 1099 employee, $20 an hour usually nets about $12 an hour, and that is before expenses like gas and tools are figured in. You certainly could get cheaper, but the quality of tech that you're likely to receive for less than $20 an hour probably makes it necessary for you to keep a close eye on the White Out and the alcohol based hand sanitizer.

Also, if you consider better than $20 an hour a "killing", then you must be moonlighting at the comic book store, because even full time $20 an hour W2 employment is a decent salary of $40K, hardly a "killing" unless you live in Bangladesh or your mother's basement. I'm wondering which is true of you.

I will refrain from replying directly because, well, your reply is so rank that it's impossible to reply without telling you what a lowballing dirtball you are. And because you might tattle.

I had hoped by applying for your job to get work in the direction I needed to go, but I think there are probably enough cans on the side of the freeway to pay for most of the trip. If I come up short, I have a half eaten, week old cheese danish that I could probably sell to make up the balance. If you pay extra, I may even deliver. But warning: I'm not a WoW fan, so if you want to discuss that while I'm there, there's a whole other surcharge.

Thanks for your phone number; I've posted it to a variety of fetish boards across the Internet. Hope you don't mind.