Feeling Like a Whole Lot of Nothing

I received a call this morning. Not the call I was hoping for, and not even sure how it is going to pan out.

Over the past couple of days, I have spent my time updating online resumes and submitting applications throughout the Oklahoma City area. My Monster.com recipes are a template for mediocrity; the most views I have ever had with any of them was 17.

So I was somewhat surprised to receive a call from a recruiter for a hospital IT position. It's in a completely different direction from OKC, and it's still early (calls from headhunters, in my experience, rarely pan out), but IT is a position where you're wise to evaluate all of your options.

It has caused me to think, though, about our recent experience. And about why I am so eager to leave this community. I came here as a professional, and when I chose to stay after that job ceased to be a viable option, it meant staying in a town where I was able to listen to the people who feel I am nothing for too long. To people who don't value the hard work that went into reaching the point I was when we first drove in to Clayton. To people who make a livelihood out of putting others down.

You listen to that sort of talk long enough, you start to believe it.

I watched idea after idea of mine appropriated, with no credit given, and certainly no employment opportunities. I watched as I stepped in and saved the school district thousands of dollars by chasing down a warranty and patching security holes, only to be overlooked for the permanent position because of a superintendent who would rather believe rumor rather than fact. I watched as certain locals tore me down and told me to "get out of our town".

After awhile, that stuff wears on you, even if you have skin as thick as a rhino's.

Whether or not I take a hard look at this option, it was good to speak to someone who feels I have something to offer. And good to remember the people of this community do not represent the views of this world.

I'd love to fly out of here one day with both middle fingers extended, but I won't. Not because I'm better than that (I certainly am not), but because I've come to pity this community rather than hate it. They tried to pitch this community to a movie production company, and were horribly offended comment asking "why would anyone want to live HERE?", and they wracked their brains trying to figure out how to change that perception.

But they don't want to know, really. Or my phone, and the phones of others who have chosen to leave, would be ringing more than it has been.